Available for RTAS, VST, and AU (sorry, no Windows version), the latest plugins from Sonic Finger may just fit the bill:

Dead Quietenator: equipped with parameters for “quiet” and “silence,” this plugin is sure to start a war between those who believe in perfect digital silence and those who want the warmer analog sound of the Moogerfooger silence generator, the MF-4′33″.

Virtual Studio Visitor doesn’t just simulate the effect your resentful girl/boyfriend has on the studio session (insert Yoko Ono / ‘why don’t you add some Doubly’ Spinal Tap joke here). No, the developers went the extra mile, with presets for Mike Love and Mary Lou Retton.

Virtual Home Studio Monitor: This one I’m skeptical about. Sure, they promise accurately modeled Behringer and Nady pre-amps, but can they deliver that authentic cheap home studio sound?

Trust me, your boss doesn’t need you to do actual work today: go read and spread the love. (Thanks, Tim!) Now, the real question is whether the folks at KVR Audio will accidentally pick this up in today’s plug-in news . . . I’m watching.