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Will Someone Else Please Blog the Microsoft Songsmith Video For Me

by Peter Kirn

CDM has been publishing for over four years.

For once, I actually can say … nothing. Please provide your own snark in the comment space below. The CDM family thanks you.

Beamz ad, there’s a new sheriff in town.

Gizmodo: Beamz Infomercial Is Most Stupid Promo Video in History [Published in the more innocent times of April 2008]

Updated: Yes, this is the Microsoft Research team doing the video. So, in their defense, they don’t do promo videos or music for a living. We love you, Microsoft Research. It’s not even worth saying “Don’t Quit Your Day Job.” As we have previously learned, the best way for researchers to look really cool is either to involve head crabs or, if they must do vocals, be sure to involve particle physics.

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jsevensix

A RE-RECORDED PARODY OF THE VIDEO WAS JUST POSTED ON YOUTUBE!!! It's crazy funny. Check it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d77eycBpuBY

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MonksDream

Sorry Yawnny, I am not a "fully assimilated Apple cult iLifer" (for starters I haven't had the the CyPod implants installed) however I disagree with your statement: "If you can still think for yourselves and aren’t fully assimilated Apple cult “iLifers”, you’ll realize that nearly all music software aimed at the masses is lame."

I think that statement is as elitist as you claim Macheads to be. The thing that Apple arguably does best is take activities that used to be difficult and/or expensive and make them accessibleto the "masses", what some call "removing the barriers to entry". Garageband is more sequencer for less money than just about anything that came before it. It's easy enough to use that anyone with a Mac and an interest can try their hand at computer based music making, yet it retains enough of the recording paradigm (tracks, regions, plug-ins etc.) that someone can start with it and have a basis for understanding a deeper DAW. To me anything that helps more people try music is a good thing. To some the old Casios were just lame toys. For others they were fun gateways to musician-hood.

My comments weren't about the software. The music it makes is merely boring to me. It's the AD that I think lamely goes where no lame has gone before.

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Michael Moncur

Yeah, Microsoft knows there's no such thing as bad publicity. That's why they arranged to lose millions of dollars in that huge anti-trust lawsuit. For the publicity.

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Yawnny

This is just as lame as Guitar Hero, Garage Band and other consumer products.

If you can still think for yourselves and aren't fully assimilated Apple cult "iLifers", you'll realize that nearly all music software aimed at the masses is lame. I still can't believe Apple won't even let you remove some of the sponsored apps you don't want off your iPod without the use of "illegal" third-party software.

Microsoft knew Songsmith had major cheese factor, so they flaunted it so that even Mac elistit blogs would post the video for all to see.

As the saying goes, there's no such thing as "bad" publicity.

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MonksDream

This ad is a choice cut of roasted lame, served on a bed of lame, drizzled with lame sauce and garnished with sprigs of fresh lame. Proof you should NEVER let software developers have anything to do with your marketing.

I must shower now. I feel...unclean...

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Michael Moncur

Oh. My. God.

I've spent half an hour trying to think of something snarky and funny to say about this, but I'm just going to go cry in the corner instead.

Realistically, though, does anyone want this? Are there people out there thinking "gosh, I can sing perfectly in neat 4-bar phrases that all stay in the same key, but I just wish I had a way to create music to accompany myself?"

I would like one of those glow-in-the-dark towels, though.

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John Henry Dale

This is like pouring corn syrup on a twinkie. In Sweden.

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m-clis

I laughed watching ad, and continue laughing reading comments)CDM became a humor portal?

But it's really a nice tool for some lazy techno freaks - you can use your midi arsenal (some Virus, Monome and all that full-of-technology shit), and finally use your voice as a main instrument - to generate some HARMONY. Cause all that sampled braindance stuff sounds all the same.

And towels with two vowels make me happy every day... Chachacha!

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yesnoyesno

i don't see what all the fuss is about. these songs sounded easily as good as anything on Broadway - just change the music from digital to analog and you're set.

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Woody Aki

Can I sue this blog for extreme distress, just for a laugh?

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makeout club

Is this actually serious? or is it a joke like the keyboard-less mac ad that's flurry around the internet?

Yes the technology is some-what "break through" but, I can't see this being nothing more than a adapted version of singstar etc,.

I know it's aimed at the "less musically knowledgeable" folk, but seriously, if you're a singer or want to sing, and your looking for tools to help write songs, my advice wouldn't be to get this, but to get some musicians.

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gwenhwyfaer

Powerpoint. It's Powerpoint all over again...

*runs away and hides*

On the other hand, I guess it's a baseline: Compose song. Arrange song. Sing vocal into Songsmith. If Songsmith's arrangement is better than yours - FAIL

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Peter Kirn

@notcynical:

Well, see, this is why we have comment threads: for disagreement. So thanks!

Just remember, all publicity is good publicity. ;)

Certainly, we've heard some potential in the software. Demo songs in apps are usually dreadful (for an exception, see Renoise 2.0 today, not coincidentally because that came from the community). So I'm all for people picking this up and using it in unique ways.

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notcynical

Is this software perfect? Of course not. Will it lead to some more practical breakthroughs down the road? Who knows, but hopefully. I don't see where they have advertised it as a DAW or anything like that. It seems like some interesting research released to the public at 30 bux a pop for giggles.

As for the commercial, I think it's cool that for once the actual nerds got to be in the video instead of slick actors working through a concept created by some guy who's never compiled anything.

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Andrew

The two main guys in the video are Dan Morris (http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/um/people/dan/) and Sumit Basu (http://research.microsoft.com/en-us/um/people/sumi...), both MSR people that worked on MySong.

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Krusteaz

Kinda seems like a musical version of "The Boy In The Plastic Bubble."

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Rock Robertson

Let a thousand bad musicals bloom!

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dead_red_eyes

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

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Duet

who knows, could be interesting using a leafblower, etc.

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Eatmoreokra

So they couldn't find a single attractive PC for the ad, so they just covered a Mac with stickers. Classy.

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neal johnson

From metafilter... the people are all MS employees in the research section and this is their product. Why no one commented on the beautiful follow the bouncing paperclip like animated characters? That was at least distracting...

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Lu

AHHHHHHHHH... Where's the next therapy session? I need some hard stuff now to kill those braincells!

http://www.therapysessions.co.uk/

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Kaden

Oh ye of little imagination. This will be the secret weapon of countless neo-old school progressive dark avant trance wave composers within 6 months.

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ernesto

Argghh!!! Snuff on CDM!!!!! I need to smoke one big glowing hit in the dark to let this memories go away!!!

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Chris

If that guy was in my band he presented me with that travesty of a song I'd quit music.

On another note: Who showers in the dark?

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radian

“Microsoft, huh? So it’s pretty easy to use?” lol

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anonymous white guy

i am once again embarrassed for my stupid, pale, rhythmless race.

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Rob P.

Oh I can't wait for the remix videos to surface about THIS one. Imagine an "up butt coconut" remix for this. MS deserves it for this drek.

The shrill of that girl's high pitched voice should be used to torture captured terrorists.

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bliss

"Glow in the dark towels for everyone. They're free like me, boys. Rave!"

R. Kelly can't touch that.

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Dave

i pray al quaida doesnt see that one on youtube. its kinda hard arguing not to blow up the western world after you went thrugh the whole thing...

i just prayed for a chainsaw the WHOLE time...

no seriously, if i catch the guy that made up that stuff he will be tortured. with a 24h loop of the beamz ad.

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gustavo

someone please please subvert this in the craziest way possible e.g. scream in to it dementedley, cut a 50ms loop of the resultant melange and alter the loop length and pitch wildly for about a minute...

if songsmith allows this kind of functionality, i'm sure microsoft are on to a winner...;)

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ms-mtsh

I don't know why apple spend money with "I'm a mac" campaign... Expanding through internet songsmith video would be more effective.

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snoball

And I thought I was a bad singer... Actually, glow in the dark towels would probably sell more.

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JohnG

I'm stunned. So bad that it's brilliant.

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tekkaz

i think ya all being overly harsh on the microsoft advert...

its pretty obvious that they must realise songsmith is gonna unless terrible cheese upon the world

but at least they go with it and make an appropately bad ad.. which i think is cringe making in the extreme but damm funny too

and yah - its just good they have put this out like peter says ...

maybe someone will harness the tech and make it less 90yr old casio pub band...

now where can i buy a glow in the dark towel from?

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mckewans

I can't believe that Beamz costs £399! Get Dave Smith's MoPho instead...

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Arp

I would not let my daughter be in something like that.

Of course, now the friggin' melody is in my head and this whole comment sounds like it was made with Songsmith.

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proem

"help me find a way to move my groove on."

this is the exact request i pose to my computer every time i sit down to write new material. needless to say i will pay top dollar for songsmith when its released

so that the future will sound like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZLjJy0abf8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WtO9R4h-Uo

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Document 02

aaouuuuuuu wwahahaouuuu.. (I almost though my dog had been run over by a truck, no it just reacted to the commercial).

Concerning Beamz... this guy seems to know better: http://www.stephenhobley.com/build/

Actually if their product is using midi, it can probably be modified to some extent as a cheap laser harp for live shows. (I just wrote them to ask the question actually, I'll keep you updated)

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tobias

OMG!!! he uses a MACBook Pro in a microsoft ad. How dare he!

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Johan Larsby

epic fail on that ad. it was not only bad, it was to long, and the multiple storylines.

I feel physically sick.

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spinner

That was one of the most nauseating things I've seen in my life........

Beamz come back you're all forgiven!

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poorsod

All the best musicians use chord progressions that sound just like a computer wrote them

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4lefts

i made it 38 seconds into the first vid. fuck me.

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Justin

Looks like just in time for NAMM...

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Sean

I'm speechless...except the part where I said I was speechless

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aris

I really hated it when I saw it first time, but me and my daughter will get a good 6 hours of laugh from the trial version this afternoon.. I'll download it right now. If anything interesting comes out, I will post it in the open.

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