Techno Shreds: Ben Klock Boiler Room Gets Shreds Treatment – And More Beamz Lazors

Utter brilliance to wind up our week: Berlin techno legend Ben Klock gets the infamous audio-redub “shreds” treatment on YouTube, normally reserved for rock bands. It helps if you’ve watched the live streams of Boiler Room, the multi-city Internet-broadcast, invite-only dance party that turns the cameras on DJs and audience alike. But even if you haven’t, well, just watch to the end. There’s just something about watching people bop along to that steady techno beat. And … um … did anyone else kind of weirdly enjoy the faux music set? (Yeah, I could see pulling this off. Just need some …

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Beamz New Technology Turns Hipsters to Bros; Will Destroy Music; Eat Hot Pockets

Beamz by Flo 2 Minute Commercial from Static Free Films.com on Vimeo. Update: See the video on the official Beamz by Flo Rida site, as apparently the creators don’t believe the old adage “no press is bad press.” (The Internet: Making Fun of Beamz Videos since 2008. See the earlier video below.) I am regularly asked if technology in music eliminates the human element – if, indeed, there is any need for music lessons, musical training, musical background, or musical content in the musical creation of music with music technology. Computers are like electronic robots, people think, and so who …

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Beamz Laser Harp, as You’ve Never Heard it Before

Forget all my blathering on about the Sharper Image Beamz thing, because this video says it better than I possibly could. No, it’s not the video you’ve seen already. Think Beamz gone experimental — and keep watching until about :30. (Thanks to Chachi and Matt for this one.) It’s official: Beamz has become stuff of Web legendz. I can haz alternative interface, or whatever.

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Beamz Laser System Strikes Back, But What’s Wrong With Instruments, Anyway?

This week, on Top Chef. Photo: croncast. The saga of the Beamz Laser Music System goes on: the spectacularly awful demo video has spread on the Internets, and after Gizmodo proclaimed it the most stupid promo video ever, they were challenged by the PR company to do a real review. (No such challenge yet for CDM, mercifully.) This does reveal where the thing came from, though. The Beamz tool was “invented” by songwriter Jerry Riopelle, who had a fairly significant career penning tunes in the 60s (“The Thrill is Gone”) and went on to a solo career in the 70s. …

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Beamz Laser Harp Makes Faux Music, Demeans Girl in Penguin Sweater

You’re not cool now? You will be, as your hands dance to the rhythm through the magical lasers. A few moments of your playing, and nothing could possibly convince me that you didn’t grow up on the streets of Jamaica, banging oil drums you salvaged and hammered into shape. Whoops, sorry — had to snap out of that for a second. So, okay — it seems the beamz laser harp we saw last week comes with special algorithmic software that makes music play basically regardless of what you do. The problem with laser harps in general is they tend to …

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Will Someone Else Please Blog the Microsoft Songsmith Video For Me

CDM has been publishing for over four years. For once, I actually can say … nothing. Please provide your own snark in the comment space below. The CDM family thanks you. Beamz ad, there’s a new sheriff in town. Gizmodo: Beamz Infomercial Is Most Stupid Promo Video in History [Published in the more innocent times of April 2008] Updated: Yes, this is the Microsoft Research team doing the video. So, in their defense, they don’t do promo videos or music for a living. We love you, Microsoft Research. It’s not even worth saying “Don’t Quit Your Day Job.” As we …

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Sharper Image Selling Pre-Made Laser Harp, But Why Not Make Your Own?

The Sharper Image, a source of various amusing musical oddities over the years, now has a ready-to-use USB laser harp music controller for PC (Windows XP/Vista), at the price of — wha? US$599? Yes, this is obviously Sharper Image exercising the business and marketing acumen that allowed it to — erm — file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection earlier this year. And, in a move we haven’t seen in years, they spell the name with a ‘z’ instead of an ‘s.’ Classy. And they’ve opted for a design that looks like the security fence in Jurassic Park. The beamz Music …

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