You’ve already started performing with Ableton Live using your Sony PSP. Now you want still more ways to control Live via your portable devices. Hmmm, garage door opener — no good. Pocket laser pointer — can only really point at the screen with that. I know: how about your cell phone?

LiveController | Jason R. Kramer

Yes, Jason Kramer has hooked up 15 user-assignable commands in Ableton Live, including play/stop, to the buttons on your cellphone, via scripts built for Sailing Clicker, the powerful PDA / cellphone scripting utility. Now, it’s been a while since I looked at Sailing Clicker, and that application’s support has grown by leaps and bounds, meaning everything from Wi-Fi connections to bluetooth to Windows Mobile PDAs and smartphones (including WM5) to cell phones from every major maker are now supported; check out the full device list. It costs US$23.95 for the Sailing license for Windows or Mac; Jason’s script is US$2.

And this isn’t just a novelty, either; the ability to have quick access to performance buttons without even the need for MIDI could be really helpful. Not to mention it could bring new meaning to DJs “phoning it in.”

For the Pro Tools and Logic Pro scripts, check out Jason’s software page.

Jason has wowed us here previously, by building a beautiful, elegant hardware controller for Ableton Live. Now grab that, your phone, and a PSP, and you’re set.

In case you haven’t seen it yet, The New York Times reports today that New York-area schoolkids have resorted to an unusual solution to cellphone bans. Apparently unaware of phones’ vibrate mode, the students have opted for an incredibly annoying ringtone pitched at 17,000 Hz. Theoretically, “adults” shouldn’t be able to hear that. (The real issue is middle-aged adults, an ironic choice in New York schools where many of the faculty are younger.) I also think that’s a liberal estimate of hearing loss; while most people lose some of their high-end hearing as they age, the numbers from the private security firm quoted in the article seem a little odd — 12,000 Hz for a 50-year-old? I hope not! (Better cover your ears on the subways, huh?)

A Ring Tone Meant to Fall on Deaf Ears [NYTimes.com; registration required and free story may expire]

The upshot of all of this is that there’s a free, if primitive, hearing test in the article (and presumably, all over the Web where these students are getting it). Hearing loss is a major problem; according to Aetna and the Harvard Medical School, 24% and 40% of adults over age 65 have difficulty hearing, and thirty percent of people over age 85 are deaf in at least one ear. For a better hearing test, here’s a free online example (I’m sure there are others online, and of course this does NOT substitute for a medical exam . . . nor can it measure just how annoying a kid with a cell phone can be):

Free Hearing Test

Anyone out there know what typical hearing loss figures are around middle age? (Lately, every time I write something some real experts show up out of nowhere, which is a pleasant experience!)

Solving a problem none of us knew existed, Motorola has patented a method for entering notes into a cellphone via an “intuitive” method that emulates frets. Pay close attention, and see if you can make sense of this:

. . . an input specifying a root note (FIG. 2) indicating a position on a neck of a stringed instrument and associating at least one column of input keys such as numeric keys of the mobile communication device with a string of the stringed instrument. Numeric keys next to one another and within a same column can specify notes which vary by approximately a half-step. The method also can include detecting at least one activation of the numeric keys specifying at least one additional note to be played substantially concurrently or in a defined sequence with the root note, thereby specifying a musical chord.

Anyone feel like they’re in theory class — on another planet? A jog wheel / joystick is navigating the circle of fifths, so you actually can fit a range of chords on the 9(!) keys of a cell phone. Not answered in the patent: would anyone go to this much trouble to create ringtones? Desktop app, anyone? (Or there’s always that weird ringtone keyboard from CME.)

Via Textually, and thanks to John at Gizmodo. (Yeah, I’m late, but I’ve been deep in Jitter and had to be in the right frame of mind to read this insanity.) Priceless comment by SuppleMonkey: “Really? I’d just rather have a cell phone that made calls as reliably as my land line.”

Kids today. They’re at a concert, but they’re too busy texting and chatting on AIM on their cellphones. For Generation Why?!, we now have lighter images for your cellphones, so you don’t have to be bothered to take your cellphone and a lighter to the next Pussycat Dolls show. Available for US$1.99 (US customers only?) from Modtones.

Better idea from Modtones: mistletoe wallpaper for your phone. I’m sure that will get you some love at your office holiday party.

Then again, I’m one to talk. I’ve been scaring the hell out of people with the Doctor Who-esque, frightening (but free) official CDM ringtone. (Even my girlfriend agrees it sounds like the Daleks have just landed. And, really, what says Chrismtas 2005 better than Doctor Who? That’s what I’ll be BitTorren– er, watching — on the holiday.)

How do you update something as seemingly simple as CD burning in the year 2005? Pyro and Toast are adding lots of extras, like a quick cell phone ring creator (Pyro) and video features (Toast).

First, a look at Windows: Pyro 5 is a feature-packed tool from our friends at Cakewalk, with new ringtone creation and delivery (easier ripping and export right from the disc), disc burning and ripping enhancements, improved audio editing right in the program, enhanced support for portable players, and more. Best of all, it’s only US$39.95. Steve Thomas from Cakewalk suggests it as a stocking stuffer. (Obviously, that comment was geared at the print publications, planning their December issues, but I’m all for hanging stockings in August if it means I get prezzies!)

Pyro 5 for Windows

Roxio’s Toast 7 Titanium is all about HD: make HD slideshow DVDs from your iPhoto library, convert DivX to DVD, and more. Audio mastering seems to have been forgotten here, though it does have an intriguing iTunes feature: “50 hours of music on a DVD, and enjoy on-screen menus for navigation to your favorite song, automatic “SmartLists,” Shuffle play, and Hollywood-style Dolby sound—with integrated, fast, and easy access to your iTunes library.” US$99.95.

Roxio [site not updated at press time]

Should you upgrade? Pyro 5 has some great features for music, with an elegant interface and lots of audio-centric features; I can’t wait to try it. And the price is right. Toast looks more useful for video than audio, but I’ve used it for all kinds of quick video tasks. Stay tuned . . .