Now, why would anyone imagine this wouldn’t have widespread commercial appeal?

If you enjoy real analog insanity – crazy noises that challenge the ears – you’ll like these videos sent to us by Hans Tammen, the composer, “endangered guitar” artist, and director of NYC’s Harvestworks. He writes:

you like analog stuff, as I know. Here are two excerpts of a concert with one of Rob Hordijk’s Blippoo Boxes. Just that tiny analog beast plus volume pedal…

Of course, part of what I like about analog — and digital — sound sources is their range. Want to make something that sounds noisy and chaotic? Want to make something that sounds more organic? Delicate? We really do have infinite timbral choices.

So I’d say, even if you hate these kinds of results, they’re a reminder that no sound is off-limits. You can make whatever noise you like.

See also: the slow section. (”Adagio” wouldn’t quite fit, somehow.)

Elsewhere: I see these have already been on Matrixsynth.
Matrixsynth: Blippoo Box Solo Concert (1) – Slow Movements Excerpt
Matrixsynth: [Noodle]Blippoo Box fun

I really, really love the knobs on this one. Lovely. From mono-poly’s blog, via Matrixsynth.

MIDI Optional, Glowing Green Bars Standard

I know what you were thinking during the silent news week as I was on vacation: “if only . . .”

If only someone would release a synth based entirely on vacuum and gas-filled tubes. No pretty sine waves, mind you: only saw, square, and square with suboctave. And a filter sweep controlled by a photoresistor. And a joystick that tunes, triggers, and modulates. And glowing green bars that show voltage levels.

And the name should involve vomiting, somehow.

If that hasn’t made you afraid (yet strangely intrigued), all this madness comes from Metasonix, who gave us the TX-2 Butt Probe effect, built with what they called “s*****y tubes.”

Ladies and germs, I give you the Wretch Machine from Metasonix. Currently in prototype form, but expected next year for US$2500. A MIDI-CV interface will be an optional add-on for $300. Now you can use your precious, new-fangled MIDI. Full specs after the break; more on this story as it hurls in. (Thanks, Michael!)

Here’s your typical PR hype: “because guitarists deserve, and WANT, some anus-stretching.” (We know computer musicians, remix artists, drummers, keyboardists, etc. do, too.) The Metasonix Butt Probe — sorry, the “TX-2″ — is a $549, hand-made, hand-painted tube-based distortion effect, complete with fist, ream, and scre parameters.

Tube-based so that it has a lovely, warm, rich, high-quality sound, right? Wrong. Tube based so it can suck as hard as tech can. According to Eric from Metasonix, the unit uses “three type 4BN6 beam modulator devices. They were intended for
use in crummy TV sets as FM detectors, and were NOT meant
for audio processing applications. They SUCK. Really, really, badly.” (See photos, and yes, normally tubes rock.)

There’s so much more to say about the Butt Probe. I could point out that, due to limited quantities of those s****y tubes, there will only be 100 of these audio-f***ing units. I could muse about why artist Sarah Combs, the creator of the lewd but somehow alien butt probe exterior, is otherwise fixated on adorable (if well-endowed) cat people. But I certainly can’t make this the butt of any jokes. Eric beat me to all the lewd humor. Thus, I’ll break normal CDM policy and run the press release. Press people, take note: your PR could read like this, instead of the breathless drivel you normally send us. (Or, you could experiment more with Butt Probes — I mean, TX-2s.) Read more for the release and closeup of the tubes on the Butt Probe . . .

We’re going to need a “Where are they now?” edition for bizarre instrument design projects. Case in point: the Drum Buddy. Reader “fer” writes, succinctly, “wassup with this?”

The answer, fer, is wassup indeed. This strange light-powered instrument had its fifteen seconds of fame on the Music Thing blog last summer, but its whereabouts now are more mysterious.

According to its creators, the Drum Buddy “represents the future of electronic instruments.” If so, we have a future of pulsing, noisy oscillators-gone-awry played by the likes of Miss Pussycat “and her puppets.” For its part, the Drum Buddy itself uses light sensors and analog components, packed into a 40-lb. Russian Birch cabinet and outputing in glorious mono. The limited run of 44 units at US$999 is now over. If you’re bummed you missed that run, they do tease us with the possibility of mass production. (Who do you think — M-Audio or Edirol?) If you don’t believe they sold any, they do provide an owner list. If you’re in New Orleans, do ask Chef Menteur how it’s working out. (And stay away from Autopsy Assistant Dirk in Germany.)

Of course, what we really need to do is track down Quintron and Miss Pussycat, the musicians apparently behind the mayhem. You can see them in Drum Buddy, the movie, but amazingly the group is touring Boston at the same time I am. May be the same night as the CDM party I’m planning, but my suggestion is we either get drunk before seeing Quintron, or afterwards (not sure which we’ll need, but probably one of them).

Anyone with information related to Quintron, the Drum Buddy, or whoever those puppets are, please do write. And the rest of you . . . stay tuned.

Spherical harmonic modulation of a globe with vertices that produces unusual additive synthesis? I’m already sold — and then I read the kicker: the experimental plug-in Harmonical can also blow your speakers. Now this is a must-have.

Okay, before you get too excited: yes, you can blow your speakers with any loud signal. And while Harmonical’s unpredictible results earned it a passionate post on KVR declaring “beware!”, really you should have a limiter on your master out for safety all the time — especially when test-piloting dodgy plug-ins.

But back to my original point — when reader Adrian Anders sends me “spherical synthesis” plug-ins with the potential to destroy things, and the KVR thread warning of that potential danger includes references to BOTH Dukes of Hazzard and I Love Genie, it’s a good day. It’s a very good day.