Minimal techno pioneer, digital vinyl advocate, DJ superstar, and subject of a surrealist Internet parody and very popular joke t-shirt line Richie Hawtin is now evidently using Traktor and Traktor Scratch. So is Magda (of “make the tea” fame). So is Troy Pierce.

Gentle hint to NI’s DJ marketing: embrace it. Give us a special “Ubercoolische Edition” of Traktor Scratch. Heck, I’d buy one. I assume people in Berlin may also find it funny, given the influx of us Americans into their city. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, read on.)

Internet memes aside, the real reason this is big news is that Hawtin was one of the DJs who threw his support behind digital vinyl with Stanton’s Final Scratch — the target market for NI with Traktor Scratch. (More recently, he used NI’s other rival — Serato Scratch Live. Thanks, Mateo.) Says Hawtin, “I find that Traktor is taking further steps forward while still remaining connected to the traditional DJ paradigm.” (Less connected to the traditional DJ paradigm, I think, are things like Ableton Live, which by its developers own admission was never originally conceived as a “DJ” program — for better or worse.) And jokes aside, I’m sure Hawtin can do some fun stuff with Traktor.

Richie Hawtin on Traktor, at Native Instruments

But I want to talk about something even more important: just as Hawtin’s label Minus Records is joining with NI for a world club tour for its 10th anniversary, the hilarious Ubercoolische site that parodies his minimalist lifestyle in Berlin is down. Happily, Google cache has preserved the white-wall apartment jokes for posterity (try a search). And you can still by the reflexive t-shirt. If anyone knows what happened to the site, let me know.

For old time’s sake, I’ve reproduced my favorite episode after the break, on Berthold Brecht. (Expletives left in for …effect.)

For the record, Magda thought it was funny, and apparently it was all in good fun because the authors of the site were fans (and actually booked the crew). You’ll know you’ve made it, too, when you’re the subject of a viral Internet parody.

Now that I’ve gotten this out of my system, next time I talk about Hawtin, Minus, or Traktor, I promise to be serious. But in the meantime:

So, a Reaktor tattoo seems a little painful and permanent? Just in time, Native Instruments this week has a line of new t-shirts, and they actually look really great, which is good — branded swag is usually way lame.

Native Wear (not as racy as it sounds) [Native Instruments]

The designer is MIG75, aka Berlin’s Adrian Theiner, confirming my suspicions that Berlin is full of cool people.

Speaking of branded swag, without revealing too much, CDM is working on the issue. After all, you don’t want to show up at a gig wearing a Native Instruments or Ableton shirt — dude, people will know your secret sauce. (Okay, they might know that anyway if I give into temptation and put a recognizable instance of Resonator or Beat Repeat or use a Reaktor granular effect on a track. Or they look at my screen. Or they know me.) But not having the t-shirt could make it easier to say, “That? Oh, that’s something I just programmed. From scratch. Actually, I built that computer. And that keyboard. Out of soy products.”

And yeah, I’d still like a t-shirt. I have to cover up my chest while the tattoo heals.