CDM’s Exclusive Guide to Bad Akai Rhythm Wolf Puns

— before they’ve even happened. Here at CDM headquarters, there’s nothing worse than the sinking feeling when other publications scoop us with content like exclusive reviews. So, we’ve decided to pre-empt all coverage of the sure-to-be-hot Akai Rhythm Wolf. In case you hadn’t heard, the Rhythm Wolf is a $199 analog drum machine with an actual picture of a wolf on it. Now, sure, it’s hard to review a product that so far doesn’t make sound. But after years of experience in this business, I can at least anticipate that lots of headlines and subheads in these reviews will make …

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